I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
