sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
