Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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