ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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