I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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