hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
