I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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