Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
