dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
