He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
