I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
