i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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