so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Enjoy the penises
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
