The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
