Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
