im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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