matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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