fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
