the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
