I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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