Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
