oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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