Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
