I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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