Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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