ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
