even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
