guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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