There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
