What a fucking waste of an outfit
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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