Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
