walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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