I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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