All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
