Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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