I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
