What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
