I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
whose ass print is on the piano?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
