Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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