the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
