there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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