Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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