Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
