evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize