Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize