I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize