It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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