Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
