hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
