i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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