So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia