I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
