Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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  (563): I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing http://tfl.nu/bqtp
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (591)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.

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  (757): Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/ml9k
  Replies (20) Good night (9779) Bad night (884)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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  (651): I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked. http://tfl.nu/b7zw
  Replies (104) Good night (4461) Bad night (2431)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

  (206): View more from Washington

  You are the luckiest man alive

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  (801): Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first (206): You are the luckiest man alive http://tfl.nu/uh0h
  Replies (16) Good night (10768) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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  (608): Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap. http://tfl.nu/9p7s
  Replies (8) Good night (3934) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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  (215): just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on http://tfl.nu/p7yb
  Replies (1) Good night (1170) Bad night (1745)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.

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  (206): Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/drhd
  Replies (6) Good night (1217) Bad night (2949)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.

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  (402): My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing. http://tfl.nu/h7oz
  Replies (6) Good night (1227) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.

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  (310): I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life. http://tfl.nu/0deg
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (380)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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  (714): I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina http://tfl.nu/xr6a
  Replies (3) Good night (1068) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.

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  (651): I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk. http://tfl.nu/9vy1
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (307)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.

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  (330): I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend. http://tfl.nu/a48i
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster

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  (864): It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster http://tfl.nu/qctl
  Replies (4) Good night (457) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.

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  (612): That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful. http://tfl.nu/5ca5
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (362)

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