standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"