i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.