Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies