Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize