Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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  (208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe. http://tfl.nu/02tv
  Replies (19) Good night (3950) Bad night (1083)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

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  (203): i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat http://tfl.nu/frov
  Replies (24) Good night (4536) Bad night (504)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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  (603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h
  Replies (21) Good night (4810) Bad night (973)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"

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  (302): he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks" http://tfl.nu/zxub
  Replies (32) Good night (7159) Bad night (2143)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6518) Bad night (970)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

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  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
  Replies (13) Good night (6233) Bad night (842)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?

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  (214): Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us? http://tfl.nu/e7z7
  Replies (13) Good night (5113) Bad night (1338)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.

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  (563): I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition. http://tfl.nu/wjlr
  Replies (4) Good night (3436) Bad night (718)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (2776)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job

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  (216): When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job http://tfl.nu/w0fk
  Replies (9) Good night (1554) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is she still in your room?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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  (978): Is she still in your room? (1-978): Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature. http://tfl.nu/vxhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1900) Bad night (447)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.

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  (780): Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag. http://tfl.nu/5i0q
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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  (314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.

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  (330): You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me. http://tfl.nu/4yac
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.

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  (702): Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird. http://tfl.nu/0bqw
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (451)

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