I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
