Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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