The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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