I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
