At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
