I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
