As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Two words: nipple clamps
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