U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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