I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
