i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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