Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
