We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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