were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
