It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
